[that silences him for a moment; expression hard to read.
At last, a bit strangely sad a bit not sad at all of a smile]
I've been preoccupied with trying to be such an example, even—especially?—when no one was looking for one.
I hope that my actions follow my intention. If they don't, I count on friends such as you to point it out to me.
...Since nothing requires magic from me at the moment, I'll give a verbal example.
I came to the magical world by a strange path. From a young age I found the blessing to go with the curse. Some only see one or the other.
[the next hesitation is acutely clear in meaning. He's trying to figure out how to say what he's never said before.
Because it's a different world, a different lifetime; because of the relevance of the example, because to share it is the only measure of redemption it has; to live up to Tonks's expectations; because he may need someone to talk to, about Tonks; because Arthur asked right.]
My family were mixed. My father used magic. My mother did not. She came from a culture, a religion, that vilified magic, but she set that aside for love of my father.
When I was eleven… something terrible happened. It…
[Arthur wasn't here when Lupin had outed himself. Though Lupin wants to be fully honest with him, and believes it's safe to do so, he's convinced that at this moment, explaining the Furry Problem would in fact only distract from what at this moment is a more important point.]
I can tell you about it in another conversation. For this one, know it was an accident, but though I had lived comfortably in both worlds, magical and nonmagical, it forced me suddenly and violently to choose. I had to flee to the magical world, abandoning my family in the nonmagical one. It also lead, eventually, to my father's death.
This profoundly impacted my mother and younger sister. My mother reverted to her hatred and condemnation of magic. This taught my sister to hate and condemn. When her own magical nature began to manifest… she tried to suppress and reject it. But she couldn't eliminate it. So she was only left to hate herself.
I saw her years later, when we were both adults. Her life had suffered terribly for this repression and self-loathing.
Rejection does not make something go away, Arthur. It only creates an enemy out of what may have been inherently neutral. It warps and distorts and nurtures misunderstanding. Or, when something does have negative potential, it compounds the problem by eliminating any balance of positive potential.
Magic exists, and it often lives in humans. They do not choose it. There are many who do not have it who wish they did, and some who get it who wish they had not. Neither can change who they are.
Since the magic exists in humans, its nature is entirely dictated by the nature of that human. Whether it's constructive or destructive, corrupting or ennobling… and usually either in turns. It's rare to find anyone absolute or pure in either extreme, in personality or action, or, by extent, use of magic.
[he lifts his wand into frame]
This is not a sword. It was not created for the clear, unavoidable purpose a sword has. It is more diverse and pliable and ill-defined than that. It can serve as a sword. It can also serve as a screwdriver.
Yet even a sword can be used for good or ill depending on who's holding it. The same with a wand, and the magic it channels: it's only a tool. It has no inherent nature or judgment. What one must judge is the choices of the one using it.
Magic is dangerous. Because it amplifies those choices. Intent becomes manifested more quickly, more directly, and with further-reaching impact, than with other kinds of tools.
Since it exists in humans, who cannot choose not to have it, whether or not convinced they should try… rejecting or repressing the magic or those people is what warps and galvanizes it into something that is evil, something that goes out of control.
The way to use magic safely, for the practitioner and those who seek to coexist with them, for oneself and those around us, is to seek ever greater understanding and control.
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winterfish
Video - after rechecking that it's private | You could never do that ;-)
Date: 2011-06-23 05:41 pm (UTC)At last, a bit strangely sad a bit not sad at all of a smile]
I've been preoccupied with trying to be such an example, even—especially?—when no one was looking for one.
I hope that my actions follow my intention. If they don't, I count on friends such as you to point it out to me.
...Since nothing requires magic from me at the moment, I'll give a verbal example.
I came to the magical world by a strange path. From a young age I found the blessing to go with the curse. Some only see one or the other.
[the next hesitation is acutely clear in meaning. He's trying to figure out how to say what he's never said before.
Because it's a different world, a different lifetime; because of the relevance of the example, because to share it is the only measure of redemption it has; to live up to Tonks's expectations; because he may need someone to talk to, about Tonks; because Arthur asked right.]
My family were mixed. My father used magic. My mother did not. She came from a culture, a religion, that vilified magic, but she set that aside for love of my father.
When I was eleven… something terrible happened. It…
[Arthur wasn't here when Lupin had outed himself. Though Lupin wants to be fully honest with him, and believes it's safe to do so, he's convinced that at this moment, explaining the Furry Problem would in fact only distract from what at this moment is a more important point.]
I can tell you about it in another conversation. For this one, know it was an accident, but though I had lived comfortably in both worlds, magical and nonmagical, it forced me suddenly and violently to choose. I had to flee to the magical world, abandoning my family in the nonmagical one. It also lead, eventually, to my father's death.
This profoundly impacted my mother and younger sister. My mother reverted to her hatred and condemnation of magic. This taught my sister to hate and condemn. When her own magical nature began to manifest… she tried to suppress and reject it. But she couldn't eliminate it. So she was only left to hate herself.
I saw her years later, when we were both adults. Her life had suffered terribly for this repression and self-loathing.
Rejection does not make something go away, Arthur. It only creates an enemy out of what may have been inherently neutral. It warps and distorts and nurtures misunderstanding. Or, when something does have negative potential, it compounds the problem by eliminating any balance of positive potential.
Magic exists, and it often lives in humans. They do not choose it. There are many who do not have it who wish they did, and some who get it who wish they had not. Neither can change who they are.
Since the magic exists in humans, its nature is entirely dictated by the nature of that human. Whether it's constructive or destructive, corrupting or ennobling… and usually either in turns. It's rare to find anyone absolute or pure in either extreme, in personality or action, or, by extent, use of magic.
[he lifts his wand into frame]
This is not a sword. It was not created for the clear, unavoidable purpose a sword has. It is more diverse and pliable and ill-defined than that. It can serve as a sword. It can also serve as a screwdriver.
Yet even a sword can be used for good or ill depending on who's holding it. The same with a wand, and the magic it channels: it's only a tool. It has no inherent nature or judgment. What one must judge is the choices of the one using it.
Magic is dangerous. Because it amplifies those choices. Intent becomes manifested more quickly, more directly, and with further-reaching impact, than with other kinds of tools.
Since it exists in humans, who cannot choose not to have it, whether or not convinced they should try… rejecting or repressing the magic or those people is what warps and galvanizes it into something that is evil, something that goes out of control.
The way to use magic safely, for the practitioner and those who seek to coexist with them, for oneself and those around us, is to seek ever greater understanding and control.
The prerequisite step of which is accepting it.